Don't
by PostcardsFromGreenland
Summary: Sharing a flat with the boy your seeing and his surprisingly attractive brother, second year of university could get very messy for Elena. All Human/AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't**

'What? You mean like live together? The two of us? You and me?'

I can feel the heat spreading across my face in synchronicity with the cringe-worthy drivel leaving my mouth.

Way to play it cool!

'No! I mean yes, but it wouldn't be like that. You would have your own room and it's a big flat, a whole bunch of us are going to be living there.'

I hesitate, caught up in embarrassment and nervous anticipation I am unable to put into words what I am feeling. As it happens, what I am feeling is so mortifyingly needy that I have to count my lucky stars I have been temporarily dumbstruck.

'Well, don't worry...I just thought with Bonnie moving back home to look after her Grams...you have no one to live with this year...and we have a spare room we need to fill...But I'm sure we will find someone else, no problem.'

'No! I didn't mean it like that. You're right. Sounds perfect. I mean it's a good fix for a bad situation. Not that living with you is a bad situation. I mean, I would rather live with you than someone I've never met...'

'Right. Errr...well should I tell the guys you're in then?

'Guys? Just how big is this flat?'

'6 rooms. Me, Matt and Tyler. This girl Katherine, friend of Matt's girlfriend, you know, Caroline. And my brother, Damon.'

'And me?'

'If you like...'

'Sounds like a plan.'

'Great. I will text you the address. Landlord is doing some renovations at the moment but we can move in any time after the weekend.'

I look up from the careful study of my fingernails which I have been conducting through out this conversation. I catch his eye, give him a half smile.

'Thanks'

When I hear the front door shut I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding and throw myself back on the bed with a sigh.

Well, that was awkward to the point of excruciating. I have only been seeing Stefan for a couple of months. We haven't even defined our relationship. We met at a first year party. I spent the whole of the first term of university looking for a guy to have a fling with, something fun and uncomplicated, a way to enjoy the wild days of my youth without absorbing too much of my time. After all, I'm here to study not chase after boys. Who would have thought that would be so hard to find? But it seemed all the guys I talked to were sleazy, boring or just plain jerks. I had all but given up when I met Stephan. He was kind and seemed fairly straight forward. We quickly fell into bed together. I'm not sure it would have lasted more than a few weeks but it transpired that he lived in the same halls as me. So we lapsed into a comfortable pattern of casual hook ups and late night movie marathons. Again, I had expected it to fizzle out. I was going to live with Bonnie in second year and he was moving to the other side of town with his friends. But now... fate is throwing us together again once more.

This makes for a very complicated living situation. Living with my...fling...for want of a better term, not to mention sharing a flat with four potentially messy and smelly boys. But most worrying of all are the unknown entities of Katherine and Damon. I seriously hope Katherine is the kind of girl I can get on with. I think I am going to need all the allies I can get in a flat full of boys. As for Damon, well, Stefan has never even mentioned the existence of a brother before today.

This does not bode well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Should I knock?

No, that's stupid. I have a perfect right to be here, same as anyone else. The landlord gave me a set of keys and I'm going to use them.

Confidence!

This year is going to be hell if I don't start feeling comfortable in my own flat. What am I going to do? Hide in my room all year?

Even so, I open the door reticently. Straight off I am confronted with a flight of stairs.

Well, that explains how such a narrow doorway could lead to such a big flat; it must be above the post office, not next door to it.

The stairs lead up to a large open plan kitchen/dining/living room area. It's light and the furnishings are modern yet cosy looking.

'Hello?'

No answer. I must be the first one here. Leaving my bags in the middle of the room I move to the back of the kitchen area and peer through the only other door in the room. I am confronted with a long corridor with three doors down each side and one at the far end.

These must be the bedrooms.

I open each door in turn, zigzagging my way along the corridor. They open to reveal almost identical square rooms, with high Victorian ceilings, sparsely furnished but light and clean.

Well, any one of them will do just fine for me.

Just two rooms left to check out.

I open the last door on the right expecting to find another identical generic student bedroom. It seems however that I have found the bathroom. The bathroom contains two sinks in front of a large mirror surrounded by spotlights, two toilet cubicles and ...the piece-de-resistance... two shower cubicles complete with clear glass shower doors!

What kind of moron puts glass doors in a shared unisex bathroom?

I'm a resourceful person. I will think of some way to maintain my dignity.

Well there go my fantasies of steamy shower sex with Stefan. It will have to be strictly my place or yours.

So, the room at the end of the corridor must be the last bedroom.

Might as well complete the tour.

'Oh, shotgun this room!'

Do the rules of shotgun still apply if there is nobody around to hear you?

The last room is different. It has clearly been built in the eaves of the house which gives it a certain quirky charm, with its slanting roof and skylight window. But the real draw is the window at the back of the room. It is hung with heavy velvet drapes, which could be closed to form a nook separating the window seat from the rest of the room. My inner six year old is screaming with delight at the thought of my very own hidey hole and the rest of me is busy calculating the cost of a lambswool throw and some plush feather cushions.

I go over to test out the seat and gasp at the view. It seems that the back of our flat looks out over Holyrood Park and beyond that I can see the Edinburgh Crags looming majestically in the distance.

Nothing could be more perfect. I can already imagine myself devouring Wuthering Heights on a stormy Scottish night in my new den.

Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself. I can't just take this room. Stefan found this flat for him and his friends, I am the outsider here. I don't want to get off on the wrong foot by being presumptuous. I will just wait and see which room is left over before settling in, I don't want to rub anyone up the wrong way.

I give the room a last resigned glance before slumping off back to the common area.

Hmmm...as it turns out, waiting is boring. I went out and got some food and beer in. Then I baked my famous carrot cake as an ice breaker for when my new flat mates arrive. And for the past fifteen minutes I have been pacing round my bags desperate to start unpacking.

'Mmmmm, this flat smells delicious.'

I can hear the sound of stampeding rhino's coming up the stairs.

They're here!

'Hey Elena, you just get here?'

He is looking at my bags in the middle of the living room.

'Er, no, I've been here a while...I baked a cake.'

I glance over at Matt and Tyler who look a little sheepish all of a sudden, mouth's stuffed full of cake.

'S'mazing!' Matt attempts, crumbs flying out of his mouth in every direction.

'Elena, you remember Matt and Tyler?'

Stefan is as cool as a cucumber.

'Um, yep...enjoy guys!'

'Do you need help with your bags? Which room are you having?'

'Umm, I was waiting to see which one was left after everybody else picked.'

'Don't be silly! We don't care, as long as it's got a bed, right guys?'

Grunts of agreement come from the kitchen table where half the carrot cake is missing and the other half looks not long for this world.

'What about Katherine and Damon? Do you think they will mind?'

I am beginning to feel a little silly about making such a fuss, but I want to get it right.

'Nah, you go ahead and choose. If they give you any grief they can answer to me. After all I did all the donkey work finding this place.'

A hundred watt grin must have lit up my face just then because Stefan chuckled and shook his head before shouldering my duffle bag and giving me a mock bow.

'Lead the way m'lady. Your chambers await.'

Maybe this whole flat business isn't going to be so bad after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Ug, my head!

It's pounding and the inside of my mouth feels like a badger's backside.

Water! Refreshing, cooling water! That's what I need.

I pull an oversized hoodie on top of my tartan flannel pyjamas and hastily scrape my bedhead into a messy ponytail. I am looking soooo HOT right now I'd wager.

And this would be the downside of living with your crush.

Last night was fun though.

Maybe shouldn't have had so many beers the day before term starts but, hey, it helped me relax, loosen up a little and before I knew it the guys and I were laughing on the couch and getting competitive over Mario Carts. I felt like I was one of the guys. It made a nice change from chick flicks, pedicures and boy talk.

I can hear voices in the common area. Voices I don't recognise, the guys must still be sleeping it off, which is a good thing as I would rather shower before I see Stefan. But on the flip side I am about to meet my last two flatmates looking like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards.

Too bad! The lure of rehydration is too strong.

'Hey'

'Hey' they say in unison, glancing over at me, before returning to their own conversation and paying me no further mind. That leaves me free to silently observe them as I sip my water carefully in the kitchen area.

They are sitting close together on the couch, laughing and chatting away. She is touching his arm a little too often for casual acquaintances, so I must conclude that they are sleeping together or she wants them to be.

She is very pretty, striking even, but wearing a little too much make up and showing a little too much cleavage for this time of day in my view. Or maybe that's just jealousy talking. But, whatever.

He, on the other hand, gives me pause for thought.

He's attractive!

I mean obviously he's generically very good looking. Piercing blue eyes, symmetrical features and just a hint of washboard abs through his tight black T-shirt.

But that's not what's so surprising. After all there are plenty of good looking guys out there.

No, what's so surprising is that he is attractive to me!

Not to say I've never found a man attractive before, it's just that I've never had that instant kind of superficial attraction. Even with Stefan, who ties up my tongue and knots up my stomach every time we speak, it wasn't until I got to know him that I started to feel that way. The first time I met him I thought he was nice and not ugly. I've always thought that's just how we girls are made, attracted to personalities not sexy bodies and smouldering eyes.

But there it is. This guy has said a grand total of one word to me and but I still feel an inexplicable pull towards him. Yet it appears I have barely registered on his radar.

Oh, don't be so ridiculous!

I would say no more romantic novels for me but that might rather impair my chances of completing my literature degree.

All this proves is that girls can be just as shallow as boys.

I am simply appreciating a fine male specimen in the same way as the odd builder or truck driver has been known to appreciate me, minus the accompanying wolf whistle of course.

I mean for god's sake! He's Stefan's brother!

Ok, enough! Off to the shower with me!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

'So, are you settling into the flat ok? I feel so guilty about bailing on you...'

'Don't be silly Bonnie. Family comes first. Besides, things didn't work out too badly for me. I have the most amazing room and Matt and Tyler have been really welcoming. Plus Caroline is around a lot and she and I have really bonded.'

'Well, that's good. But, is it not a bit weird living with Stefan? Is everything still going well in that department? Have you guys had 'the talk' yet?'

'Oh everything is just as it was. Living together doesn't seem to have changed the dynamics of our relationship. I live my life, he lives his and occasionally we hang out and hook up. It's kind of perfect, I don't have to go far to scratch that itch, if you catch my drift.'

'But don't you want more?'

'I don't know what I want. I just avoid thinking about it. I mean it's too late to bring it up now, that would just be too embarrassing.'

'You're a strange one, Elena. Whenever I'm in love I can't help but want to shout it from the rooftops.'

'Whoa, hold your horses, who said anything about love? I don't believe in all that love at first sight crap. Love needs time to develop and we are certainly not there yet.'

'Hmm, well, I will hold my tongue for now then. Let's change the subject. So, tell me about your other two flatmates. The ones you had never met before. Am I going to have to fight for my best friend status when I get back?'

'Who...Katherine? No, I don't think so. She's a conundrum; I can't work out what her game is. She doesn't socialise with any of us except for Damon. She keeps to herself mostly. I've seen her at the library a bunch of times so I think she study's really hard, but, then every weekend she brings a guy home and they go at it all night long, really loudly. I mean literally the whole flat is ringing with her moaning and groaning. And then in the morning she just kicks them out. On top of that it seems to be a different guy every weekend. Caroline is of the opinion that she's loose and doesn't want anything to do with her, but I will reserve judgement until I know her a little better.'

'Well, sounds to me like she has issues. I would stay out of it if I were you. Your always far too forgiving of other people's frailties and too hard on your own. Anyway, that's Katherine, what about Damon? He's Stefan's brother right?'

'Right. Older brother. He's not a student and he works nights, doing I'm not sure what. I've only ever seen him once, when he was talking to Katherine in the living room. I wasn't looking my best that day and I think he barely even registered my presence. So, all in all, he remains a total mystery to me.'

'Well, you're living together so you're bound to run in to him sooner or later. He might give you the scoop on Stefan. Anyway Elena, I have to go, Gram's is calling for me.'

'Give her my love, will you?'

'I will. I'll call you again in a couple of weeks and we can have another catch up.'

'Yeah, that would be nice...Bonnie?'

'Yes?'

'I really miss you.'

'Miss you too.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Damn it!

Where have I put those bloody pegs?

It's not much good as a genius solution if you lose the device that holds it all together.

I had them yesterday.

Oh, I give up.

Looks like they have been sucked into the flat's infinite black hole along with one of my red polka dot socks, several teaspoons, handfuls of change and my copy of Mrs. Dalloway.

In order to preserve my modesty when showering in the communal bathroom I have been pegging my towel to the outside of the glass shower door, thus transforming it from transparent to opaque and offering me a modicum of privacy. Of course my towel is rather shorter than the shower door so you can see the bottom quarter of my legs which makes shaving my legs a public event. Also, I have to drape a small portion of the towel inside the door in order to peg it on, leaving me with a two inch strip of soaking wet towel to contend with when I get out. But, it's better than nothing.

Which is what I have now.

Now that I've gone and lost the darn pegs.

I feel sweaty and grimy from a late night study session at the library and I'm cold and damp from walking home in the autumnal Scottish gale that is blowing outside.

I don't want to slip into the nice clean sheets I put on my bed this morning feeling like this.

I want to warm up and get clean in a nice hot shower.

On the other hand, I don't want to expose my naked body to the world.

Well...it's late, the flat is silent, seems like everybody is asleep...I could just risk it.

Decision made.

I hop into the shower vowing to be in and out in a flash.

Nobody will know.

I am just lathering up my hair, standing face on to the warm soothing spray of the shower and enjoying the feeling of my fingers massaging my scalp, when I hear the door being pushed softly open and the footsteps of somebody entering the bathroom.

My hands stop moving in my hair and I stand frozen in indecision rivulets of water cascading down my back and steam clouding the air around me.

Should I turn around and confront the intruder?

Should I try to grab my towel in an attempt to preserve what's left of my dignity?

Or should I continue to stand here like an idiot while one of my flatmates is enjoying an eyeful of my naked arse?

So far my voyeur has said nothing.

Decision made.

I whirl around, bubbles flying out of my hair in all directions just in time to see the back of somebody leaving the bathroom.

Dark hair, strong shoulders, defined yet lithe looking arms.

There is only one person that could be.

Damon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I woke up this morning to an unusual occurrence: The sun was shining with not a cloud in the sky! In Scotland day's like these are as rare as a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

A day like this is too good to waste in bed, so despite it being only 5:30 in the morning I decided to go for a run over Arthur's Seat. Autumn foliage crunched beneath my trainers and the air was crisp and sharp as I drew heavy breaths into my lungs.

It's remarkable how a little fresh air and sunshine can put you in a fantastic mood.

I'm feeling exhilarated as I climb the stairs back into the flat.

Tickling beads of sweat are making their way out of my little Lycra running shorts and pooling in the crevice at the back of my knees.

I open the door to the living room with a spring in my step.

Despite the early hour I find the sofa occupied and the TV on, showing what looks like last night's episode of Doctor Who if the Daleks are anything to go by.

Great! In spite the fact that I've seen neither hide nor hair of him in the past month, the day after our brief 'he totally saw me naked in the shower' episode the stars align so our paths should cross.

Well, I'm a big girl. So he saw my butt. No biggie. I'll just play it cool.

'Hey. Beautiful day isn't it?'

'Hey'

His voice comes out as a short disinterested grunt but he looks up at me briefly, looks back to the telly, and then his head snaps back to me as if he's just realised something important and he gives me a long appraising stare up and down.

'Well, well, I have to say this day just got a whole lot more beautiful since you walked in my door.'

He puts one hand on the back of the sofa and confidently vaults over the top. He starts to walk towards me with predatory grace.

'Got a name, beautiful?'

God! He's actually swaggering now, eyebrow cocked!

Well colour me confused!

He has no idea who I am. Plus, he has some really cheesy pick-up lines, yet he seems confident, as if past experience has confirmed that this is actually going to work on me.

'Actually, we've met...twice!'

Although my voice is firm and my eyes hold his gaze unwaveringly, I can feel a deep blush spreading across my cheeks.

Damn, there goes my composure.

'We have? No, I'm sure I would remember a tasty little...Oh! That was you?'

All I can do is bow my head in confirmation.

'Well, if I'd known those were your luscious buttocks on display for my viewing pleasure, I can assure you our little bathroom rendezvous would have gone quiet differently.'

'In your dreams, buster...Who did you think it was?'

'Katherine.'

'Oh, yes, it does seem like rather more her style...'

'Ouch! Catty!'

'Well, I'm just saying there's a reason you thought it was her.'

'True. Anyway, you said we'd met twice before, when was the other time?'

'The day after we moved in here, you were talking to Katherine on the couch and I was in the kitchen.'

'Hmmm, I don't remember.'

'Well, I'm not surprised; you were far too busy trying to get into Katherine's knickers from what I recall. Any luck with that?'

'I can neither confirm nor deny that. Why? Jealous?'

I let out a loud and extremely unladylike snort and roll my eyes. He looks rather shocked and I use his momentary silence to make my escape, heading towards the door which leads to the bedrooms. I'm just slipping away when he calls out to my retreating back.

'Wait. Aren't you going to tell me your name then?'

'Elena,' I call over my shoulder.

'And I take it you live here?'

I simply give him a withering glare which I hope lets him know what an antisocial bastard I think he's been and let the door slam shut behind me without another word.

He probably just thinks I'm rude and have something in my eye!

I have to stop trying to communicate with people with just a look.

That only works in the movies!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

'So what's on the menu this morning?'

'Ugg, you again!'

'The one and only!'

'Did you ever think of making your own breakfast? Or even better, how about you treat me to a bit of home cooking for once?'

'Sure thing, petal. I was thinking of having some spag bol today. You fancy it?'

'Spaghetti Bolognese? For breakfast?'

'Might be breakfast time for you but I'm just about ready for my dinner.'

'So why are you always pestering me for pancakes then, Mr. Sweet Tooth?'

'Your pancakes are so good I'd eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.'

'Damn, point to Mr. Salvatore, flattery will get you everywhere with this chef.'

'That's right. I can play you like a fiddle, so get your pinny on... unless you'd like to find out how well I can play you in the physical sense?'

'That was a lame innuendo even for you!'

'Aw, cut me some slack. My head is pounding; I've had a hard night while you were snoozing in your bed. I will be back on top sex pest form tomorrow morning... and I know you're secretly looking forward to it... come on admit it; our breakfast dates are the highlight of your day.'

Well there's a loaded statement.

Best to avoid thinking about a response to that by casually sidestepping the entire issue.

'So what is it you do all night anyway? I mean as far as I can tell you never leave your room!'

'Ah, well, if I told you I'd have to kill you.'

'Come on. I always tell you what I've been up to; it's time you returned the favour.'

I brandish the spatula in his direction before flipping the pancakes with expert timing, if I do say so myself.

'You're right. It's time I share with you, so we can be best friends. I'm expecting my friendship bracelet any day now, Elena, so I hope you've been busy making them.'

I say nothing, my face set into what I hope is the picture of indifferent serenity, I casually tidy the extra plate I had put out, back into the cupboard.

'Hey, hey, now wait a minute...okay, okay... I'll tell you...Geez...The truth is, I'm a top secret MI5 agent and I work undercover at night. If only the Scottish drug lords had thought to torture me by withholding pancakes, they would have gotten information out of me a lot faster.'

I pause with my back turned by the plate cupboard, trying to hide the mirth his stupid answer has inspired in me, but he's too quick.

He rounds the breakfast bar and snatches the plate off me saying,

'Ha, you smiled; I'm off the hook,'

Before setting the plate back down on the counter.

'Aw, come on, how embarrassing can it possibly be, just tell me.'

'How can I resist such an adorable pout, sweetchecks?'

He is infuriating and I absolutely did not pout, but I hold my tongue because I really want him to answer the question.

He moves slowly closer and closer to me, pushing me up against the counter with his body.

Suddenly I am very aware of his hot breath tickling my ear, the tingling sensation I have where his legs are pressed against mine and I'm not sure what to do with my hands, so I settle for clutching the spatula tightly in anticipation.

'The truth is...' he breaths out, low and intimate 'I'm the master of the darkness, the shadow of evil in the night... that's right, you guessed my terrible secret, Elena, ...I'm a vampire and I vanna suck your blood!'

Suddenly his mouth descends on my neck and he starts to nibble playfully at my pulse point.

I laugh and begin to beat him off with my spatula.

I hear the door click shut as someone enters the room.

We freeze and the atmosphere turns from warm to icy in a nanosecond.

'Yo, little bro, Elena's making pancakes, I bet she'd make you some too if I asked her real nice. She can't resist me, you see.'

'How do you know Elena?'

Stefan seems tense; I hope he hasn't gotten the wrong end of the stick about our little play fight.'

'Um, we all live together in case you haven't noticed.'

'Yeah, well, stay out of it, will you? Nobody asked you to be here.'

Okay, this is getting very weird, very fast.

'Geez, what is it to you anyway?'

'Elena, she's my... well, she and I...well...just leave her alone, will you? She's a nice girl.'

'Okay, you guys know I'm still in the room right? What on earth is going on?'

Now they're just glaring at each other and nobody is saying anything. Eventually, Stefan says through gritted teeth, eyes never leaving Damon:

'Elena, can I speak to you in the hallway for a moment, please?'

'Sure.'

We walk back through the door in silence.

'What's up?'

'Look, I've been thinking, this thing between you and me...look...don't you think it's time we made it official...I mean almost everybody knows about us anyway...so we might as well say you're my girlfriend.'

Not exactly romantic, but I don't believe in romance anyway, this is how things go down in real life.

Briefly I wonder why he has suddenly come to this conclusion.

But, since his conclusion matches up with what I've been wanting for a while now, but have been too afraid to admit to myself for fear of damaging my already fragile ego, I just say:

'Sure, sounds like a plan...boyfriend!'

He lets out a tense laugh.

'Cool. So I'll see you later, alright?'

I nod and he returns to his room and I return to the kitchen.

I'm so busy basking in the glow of being wanted by somebody, and enjoying the feelings of validation and self-worth which are so rare to me, that I barely register that Damon has left without his pancakes!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The flat is silent as the grave.

All I can hear, as I wander aimlessly through the common area and down the corridor towards my room, is the soft shuffling of my own feet.

Stefan, Matt and Tyler are at a late evening football practice...again...and it seems like Damon and Katherine are out, as I can't hear any signs of life emanating from their rooms.

It's rare that I have the flat all to myself.

It's kind of liberating.

I could do anything I want.

I could roam the hallway butt naked.

But I won't.

Suddenly, I'm overcome by the creeps. I used to get them all the time when I was younger, when my mother would leave me in the house by myself while she popped to the shops. This kind of abrupt flash of terror, where all at once you're convinced that an unnamed horror is lurking round the corner about to get you. It's childish and rather embarrassing to still get the creeps at the age of 19, but still I can't shake them.

I know only two ways of dealing with the creeps. The first is to run and seal yourself under the duvet, making sure there are no gaps, because everybody knows that the unnameable horror can't go beneath the covers.

But I plump for option number two, because, option number two is the cure for many things. Not only does it fight off the creeps but it also fixes loneliness, resentment and generally the 'mean reds' as Holly Golightly would say.

So I crank up the volume on my stereo. I choose some crazy Yiddish Klezmer music my grandma used to play when I was very small and she was still alive. I slip off my jumper and get my dance on.

I am just in the middle of a particularly wild, hair flipping, booty shaking move, when I hear somebody shouting from down the hall.

I can't hear what she's saying but it's definitely a girls voice, so I assume it's probably Katherine yelling at me to turn the music down.

I sigh and decide just to turn it off.

Thank god I decided to close my door or she might have seen my insane dancing.

I have my hand on the off button when I hear somebody pounding on my bedroom door.

Honestly! What a bitch!

I play my music too loudly for like 5 seconds and she's acting like I've committed some kind of heinous crime, when I've been putting up with the caterwauling which accompanies her extra-curricular activities for weeks without saying a word.

Well, that's gratitude for you.

Even so, I open the door, bracing myself for confrontation.

'I was just about to turn it off, okay?'

'No, no! Don't turn it _off, _turn it _up!_'

'Huh?'

'Turn it up!'

She barges past me into my room and blasts the music as high as it will go.

Then, to my utter disbelief, she kicks off her pink fluffy slippers, stands up on top of my bed and breaks into a funky chicken that could rival my own.

Well if you can't beat them, join them!

And so we dance.

Not that kind of sexy side to side, arse-wiggling shuffle girl do on the dance floor of nightclubs, but full on, dance like nobody's watching.

The music gets faster and faster and our dancing gets more and more frantic as we try to keep up, until the song abruptly finishes and we collapse in a hot, sweaty heap on the bed, giggling like maniacs.

'I really needed that!'

'Me too!'

'Well, I guess I'll see you around then.'

And just like that she leaves as unexpectedly as she arrives.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

At first I was just glad to be back inside and regaining feeling in my extremities. However, about ten minutes into the second half I started to resent the fact we had come home to an exciting evening of watching yet another football match on the telly. This was after spending all afternoon standing in the pissing rain supporting my boyfriend who was playing midfield in the most tedious match in the history of the world, the grand culmination of which was a nil all draw.

Frankly, I couldn't give a shit if it's the Champions League final or not.

I have had enough.

It's only the fact that I am still enjoying the novelty of having Stefan's arm casually slung over my shoulders in full public view that's keeping me on the couch at all.

Just as I've mustered up the will to move, the door opens from the bedrooms and Damon comes into the kitchen and starts banging around with the kettle.

His glance flickers over Stefan's careless embrace and he gives me a hardened glare which I don't understand.

I get up from the couch and potter over to join him, setting my mug down in such a way as to suggest that I would be open to a spot more tea.

'Hey'

He gives me a curt nod and studiously ignores my proffered cup when doling out the tea bags.

'I haven't seen you around much lately. I've missed you at breakfast.'

He still doesn't say anything and he's staring at the kettle with such determination that I'm almost surprised it doesn't burst into flames.

'Damon! Hello! What are you? Twelve? Are you giving me the silent treatment? Sending me to Coventry?'

Still nothing.

'Fine. Be like that.'

Now I sound as petty and childish as he's being, but then that's nothing new. Damon has the tendency to bring out my immature side.

I swallow down the impulse to stamp my foot like a petulant teenager.

'Look. I don't know what I've done to offend you, but if I have done something I am truly sorry and I will work on making right as soon as you let me know what it is. However, given that you've been off with me since that day Stefan and you had an altercation in the kitchen, I suspect this is not about me at all. I think I am getting caught in the crossfire of some underlying sibling drama. So, think about it, and just know I am ready to accept _your _apology at your earliest convenience. I don't want our friendship to end before it has really begun.'

With that said I turn and sweep back to the couch.

Let him chew on that for a while.

Damon slips out quietly and moments later at long last the match on the telly draws to a close.

'Finally. I have definitely had enough football for one day.'

'You're mad, Elena. That was amazing. Did you see that goal? Where Messi just chipped it over the goalie's head...'

'No, no, no, come on guys, you've played football, you've watched football... We are not going to spend the rest of our Saturday night sitting on the sofa talking about football. Come on! It's only 8:30, who wants to go out?'

'I'll pass; I have to be at the Grill early tomorrow.'

'I'm out, I have an essay I haven't started due on Monday.'

'Stefan? Come on. We can go dancing!'

'Nah, I'm beat. Think I'll call it an early night.'

I want to rage at him that I did the girlfriend thing and went to his football match and now it's his turn.

I want to ask him what the point of going official was if I'm the only one making sacrifices.

But I hold my tongue and just shrug and say:

'No biggie. I have to finish 'Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit' by Monday anyway. I'll just read.'

I leave without giving Stefan a kiss goodnight but he doesn't seem to notice.

I have my hand on my doorknob when Katherine pops her head out her bedroom door and says:

'So, I was listening to your conversation. What a bunch of boring old men, hey? I'm going to a party tonight, why don't you come?'

God only knows what kind of parties Katherine goes to, but I don't care, I need to let loose and blow off some steam.

Half an hour and a bottle of rosé later I'm all glammed up in my party frock and stepping out of a taxi somewhere at the bottom of Leith Walk.

I was all for walking but Katherine, who seems to have plenty of cash and is wearing skyscraper heels, was happy to pay for a taxi. In retrospect, now I know where the party is, I'm glad me and my mini skirt did not decide to walk through this part of town.

It turns out to be a flat party, pretty much the same as many others I've been to despite the neighbourhood. I'm just on the lovely warm side of tipsy when Katherine sashays over to me.

'Come into the back room. Peter's got some grass, so we're going to smoke a joint.'

It has to be said that my opinions and principles are very malleable when I've had a few drinks, so I think to myself, what's the harm in trying it.

I watch from the corner in quiet fascination as a boy rolls up a long straight joint, lights it, takes a few tokes and passes it to Katherine.

She is seated, cross legged on the floor, somehow not flashing her knickers despite the length of her skirt, holding court.

A circle has formed around her and they are listening with rapt attention as she extemporises about life, the universe and everything. She has yet to take a puff of the joint and is just holding it and occasionally gesticulating with it to punctuate a point she is trying to make, like it is simply a prop on the grand stage which is her life.

I realise that it is not she, but it, that is the recipient of the undivided attention of the crowd when a red-headed girl with long dreadlocks and a nose ring exclaims:

'For god sake Katherine, smoke it or pass it, but stop waving it around, you're wasting good pot.'

She takes a deep drag and say:

'Okay. But Elena's next. She's never tried it before.'

I don't need to ask how she knows it's my first time. It must be written all over my face.

'You have to take a big draw and hold it in as long as possible. It's not like a cigarette.'

I do as advised.

I exhale and then cough and splutter my way to the kitchen for a desperate glass of water.

I don't think I'll be doing that again.

Oh, well, no harm done.

Anyway, I haven't noticed any immediate effects; maybe I'm immune to it.

I spend the next half an hour listening to the red headed, dreadlock girl, who tells me she's a stripper and she's going to be married to her fiancé, with whom she has an open relationship, in some kind of pagan bonding ritual.

Katherine sure has some strange friends.

All at once I realise my head is spinning wildly and my limbs feel like they are made of lead.

I guess I'm not immune after all.

I feel the overwhelming need to be at home, in my own bed.

I make a half-hearted attempt to find Katherine and say my goodbyes.

I half crawls up the stairs to my flat.

Bed has never felt so far away.

Never again!

The living room is dark except for the flicker of the television. Damon is lounging on the couch, legs covered by a blue fleece decorated with members of the Loony Toons gang.

I haven't the strength to laugh at him.

He gives me a filthy look, but his gaze softens when he takes in my dishevelled state. He doesn't say anything, but he lifts up the blanket in a silent invitation to join him on the couch.

I don't know if this means that all is forgiven and forgotten, but I haven't the energy to care.

I kick off my heels with a clumsy clatter and slump in an ungraceful heap on the sofa.

Damon pulls me close, my head against his chest, and tucks the blanket under my legs.

I fall asleep thinking that I haven't had anybody so fully and perfectly anticipate my needs without me saying a word since my parents were alive.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The festive season is well and truly underway.

I love this time of year, the air smells like cinnamon and love, every building and tree twinkles with a hundred glittering fairy lights and you can feel the anticipation building in everyone; from the smallest tot dreaming of Santa to the oldest matriarch whipping up a never ending stream of mince pies.

This time of year is always twice as exciting for me because my birthday is a mere 6 days before Christmas. When I was young people would ask if I felt duped because Christmas always over shadows my special day, not to mention the inevitability of joint presents. But I would reply, no, I don't feel hard done by, I feel special because the entire world is celebrating with me on my birthday and look, the streets have been decorated in my honour!

And today, the day of my 20th birthday, it's bittersweet. This is the fourth time I have celebrated my Birthday without my parents and it doesn't get any easier. Every year my parents would layer us up and take us out ice-skating. For the past 3 years my brother Jeremy and I have carried on this tradition, just the two of us, but this year he's away on his gap year, working in an elephant sanctuary in India.

So, I asked Stefan, my boyfriend, to take me. I was excited to include him in something that is so important to me. I had decided that today was the day I was going to tell him about my parents and their passing. I don't like to talk about it usually because it only makes it harder if people make a big fuss. Anyway, who wants to go to uni and be known as the sad girl who lost her parents? But, I have been feeling very distant from Stefan recently. We have been together, one way or another, for over a year now and I still feel I'm missing that comfortable closeness which I witnessed in my parents relationship. But then, how can I expect him to open up to me if I am still guarding this big secret? This is the sort of thing one ought to be able to share with ones boyfriend.

Then, in another turn of horrendous bad luck, Stefan slipped on some black ice on the way down to the Grassmarket just outside of Greyfriar's Graveyard and broke his leg. I suppose I should be thankful it wasn't worse as he managed to avoid falling on his head by grabbing hold of the statue of Greyfriar's Bobby of all things! That little dog manages to save the day even posthumously! But, I can't help but feel a little resentful, I know it's not Stefan's fault rationally, but this just feels typical of him. To make it worse he doesn't seem to realise the importance this tradition holds for me. He just said, Oh well, we can go after the holidays!

Boys! They're so oblivious!

So, here I am battling not to get blown over as I make my way across North Bridge, the trains chugging along below me. I am determined to enjoy my day no matter what. After all, I'm an independent woman; I can go skating on my own, even if it would be more fun with company.

Besides, the gods have sent me a clear sign that cannot be ignored. The first snow of the winter fell last night, so I woke up on my Birthday to find Edinburgh had been iced and thus transformed from gothic gloom to winter wonderland.

As I round the corner of the intimidatingly grand Balmoral Hotel, side-stepping important looking people as they jump in and out of black cabs and sweep up the ornate staircase, I get my first glimpse of Prince's Street in all its Christmas glory.

There is no sight more magical than the towering majesty of Scott's Monument, blackened by Victorian factory soot and frosted with a gentle layer of snow, juxtaposed with the multi-coloured illuminations of the Ferris wheel standing just behind it.

Edinburgh Christmas Market here I come!

When I reach the entrance to Prince's Street Gardens I pause for a moment, leaning on the railings and looking down and the market below. I take in the fairground, and watch the children flying high on the chair swings, spinning round on the Waltzer and struggling out of hessian sacks at the bottom of the red and white striped Helter-Skelter. At the very bottom of the Gardens, below the funfair, is the open-air staking rink. Families and couples bundled up in woolly scarves and bobble hats are skating anti-clockwise with pinkened noses and cheeks flushed from cold and exertion combined. Even from here I can hear the tinkle of Christmas carols blowing up on the wind. To the right of the Garden's there is the Christmas market, bursting with handmade trinkets and toys and a-bustle with holiday shoppers and evening revellers warming themselves with mugs of steaming Gluhwein.

I'm just about to go down the steps and enter the fray when two figures to my left catch my eye. Damon and Katherine are resting against the railings whispering intently, heads bent close together. I'm not sure what to do. On one hand, it looks like they are having a private conversation, but on the other hand I don't want to seem rude by blanking them, after all, I have struck up a tentative friendship with both of them over the course of the winter term.

Just as I'm contemplating interrupting them, they both look up, see me, offer me almost identically tense half-smiles and continue their conversation. They obviously don't want to be interrupted, it must be lover's whisperings, I conclude as I walk on.

I've reached the bottom of the stairs and am entering the fairground when I feel two hands over my eyes and a hard body against my back.

'Guess who?' says a low, rough voice in my ear.

'Who else?' I laugh and whirl around to face him.

'Damon, what are you doing? I thought you were out with Katherine?'

'I was, but she went off for a cat nap so she will be fresh for some end of term party she's going to tonight.'

'Oh, so what are you doing now?'

'Nothing. Why? Fancy some company?'

'Well, I don't know of you'd want to, but I always go skating on my birthday, it's kind of a tradition...'

'Wait. It's you birthday? And you're going skating all on your own? What happened to my princely brother? Oh, yeah, right, the leg. Well, well, we can't have this can we? Damon Salvatore, Birthday Rescuer extraordinaire, at your service.'

'Really, I'm alright, you don't have to do this.'

'No, no, I insist. I'm going to make this your best birthday ever.'

'I doubt it. But thank you for the thought.' I say wryly, thinking of my parents again.

Something of my musings must have shown on my face, because Damon is silent for a minute giving me such a tender, compassionate look that I am surprised all the snow in Edinburgh hasn't just melted, before saying lightly:

'Challenge accepted!'

He grabs my hand and pulls me at a skipping pace towards the fair. I let the tingling his touch always inspires in me spread up my arm and warm my whole body as I decide to just go with it for once.

'Right, first let's go on some rides.'

'Oh, no, they're so over priced, it's ridiculous.'

'Hush. I want no more of that, it's my treat and you will wound my manly pride if you reject me.'

'Okay. Well, you asked for it mister.'

I drag him off towards the swings. We are lifted high in the air and spun round and round, the wind makes my hair fly out behind me like streamers. Edinburgh is spread below us, breathtaking in its snow covered brilliance. I throw my head back and shout:

'I'm the Queen of the world!' and laugh and laugh until Damon can't help but be caught up in my child-like glee.

'Where to next, oh fair Queen?'

'The Waltzers!'

Damon turns positively green and looks slightly terrified.

'Aww, what is it? Does ickle Damon's tummy feel funny after all the spinning on the Waltzers?'

'No, only girls get sick and I'm a man, a strong man!' He beats on his chest like Tarzan as if this irrefutably proves it.

Even so, after the Waltzers Damon looks like her might be about to lose his dinner so I decide to plump for something a little more sedate next.

We lapse into a comfortable silence as the Ferris wheel slowly takes us up high above the city.

Damon breaks our mutual quietude after a few minutes; he looks thoughtful as he asks:

'If you had unlimited money and no responsibilities, what would you do with your life?'

'I don't know about my whole life, but I'd love to travel. The world is so big and I've seen such a tiny part of it.'

'Where would you go first?'

'No question! I'd go to Barcelona, I dream of strolling down La Rambla, gazing upon La Sagrada Familia and picking at tapas and sipping on sangria as the sun goes down in the Gothic Quarter. What about you?'

'Me? Well, travelling does sound good, but Stefan and I spent most of our childhood moving from pillar to post, our mother never seemed to settle anywhere, so what I dream of is the opposite. I want a home. I want to feel I really belong to a place. I want a house full of laughter and love and I want to provide a feeling of total security for my children.'

Things must be getting really serious between him and Katherine if Damon is thinking like this. Well, that clears a few things up for me. Ever since our night of cuddles on the couch, which we have never discussed, Damon has been different with me. He stopped giving me the silent treatment and seems to have forgiven me for whatever it was, but instead of picking up where we left off, the dynamic of our relationship has shifted. Gone is the flirty, cocky Damon who never missed an opportunity to slide in a sexual pun. I've been kind of missing our fast-paced, sexually charged back and forth, but at least now I think I know what has changed. Damon must be in love with Katherine. I guess this is for the best because I am with Stefan and even if it was only ever all talk, it's probably not a good idea to flirt with your boyfriend's brother.

Besides, now I get to see a more serious and, dare I say it, more vulnerable side to him.

Of course, I don't say any of this to him. I just give a non-committal Hmmmm and say:

'Right, skating time! It's a Gilbert family tradition.'

'Well, who am I to argue with tradition. Lead the way Birthday Girl.'

After we queue up and hire our skates I pull out an extra pair of thick woollen socks to ward of blisters. I feel a bit guilty that Damon has no such protection for his impromptu skating escapades.

We hold hands as we wobble unsteadily over to the ring, walking on our blades, but as soon as we read the ice, I let go, push off the side and shriek:

'Catch me if you can!'

Damon, to his credit, puts up a good attempt, chasing me round and round the rink at high speed, weaving in and out of the multitudes, but years of practice mean that I can out skate him with ease. However, eventually I relent, slow down a bit and let him catch me. His arms encircle my waist and he spins us around in pirouette until we come to a halt. I'm feeling light as a feather floating on cloud nine. To cap it all off, just then my favourite Christmas song starts up and through the speakers flows the husky voice of Shane McGowan as The Pogues and Kirsty McCall serenade us with 'Fairytale of New York.'

By silent agreement Damon and I skate round slowly side by side. I know my eyes are filling with tears, but I won't let them fall, as in that moment I am feeling a thousand different emotions. Damon gives me a look which I know means if you talk I will listen but I will never push you by asking. I have never met a person whose looks I can read with such absolute certainty. In Damon's case, the eyes really are the window to the soul. I don't want to ruin this moment by talking but I am grateful of his warm hand clasping mine as we glide round.

When the song is over Damon says:

'Well, I don't know about you but I need a mug of hot Gluhwein to warm me up.'

'Sounds perfect.'

I return our skates and find him again near the market stalls, at a table under a heater lamp, with two mugs of Fire Punch, Gluhwein with added spiced rum. Perfect.

He pulls out a little parcel wrapped in brown tissue paper.

'I got this for you. Joint birthday and Christmas present, but I suppose you're used to that.'

'Damon, you shouldn't have, I didn't get you anything and besides you've already done so much for me today.'

Even as I am saying these polite words I am busy ripping the wrapping off.

It is a little wooden jewellery box and on the lid there is an intricate carving of a little girl and a little boy holding hands as they skate along.

'To remind you of your 20th birthday. An old tradition kept with a new friend.'

I couldn't have expressed it any better myself. I am amazed by Damon's flawless intuition. I can only continue to be grateful to his quick thinking because as I instinctively throw my arms around his neck and reach up to give him a kiss, which I hope will express the tender feelings I am harbouring at that moment, he smoothly turns his head so my kiss lands platonically on this proffered cheek.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

First Saturday night back after the Christmas holidays and I am trying to organise our very first flat night out. Getting Matt and Tyler on board was easy, I just mentioned beer and they were in. Stefan was a little harder to convince but I used my womanly wiles and promised there'd be no dancing and eventually he caved.

Getting Katherine to agree should be no problem; she's always up for anything. I tap lightly on her door before throwing it impatiently open and bounding into her room.

I haven't seen Katherine since we got back and I'm stunned by what I find on the other side of the door. Her bedroom looks like the den of a hibernating bear. There are dirty clothes all over the floor, half eaten containers of Chinese takeaway dotted here and there and on every available surface there are half drunken mugs of tea. There is nothing that speaks so clearly of deep depression than tea that has been left to go cold. Holding my breath against the rather ripe smell that is permeating the room I step inside and let my eyes adjust to the gloom.

'Hey, Katherine. How's it going? Did you have a nice Christmas?'

'It was quiet, I decided to stay here, I didn't feel like going home.'

'Oh, you stayed here? All alone?'

'Yeah, well no, Damon was here I guess, but I mostly just stayed in my room.'

'Yeah, I can kinda tell. Well, the guys and I thought it would be fun to go down to the Grassmarket and have a few pints. Do you fancy it?'

'Nah, I think I'm just going to hang out here for a bit.'

'Is everything alright with you Kat? If you need to talk, I'm here for you, I can listen, no judgement.'

'God! What is it with you people? First, Damon, now you. I don't want to get all touchy feely with you. I don't want to talk about my emotions left, right and centre. I just want to be left alone.'

She burrows down further into her duvet and pulls her laptop towards her.

'Now go way, I'm watching 'AWalk to Remember.' Mandy Moore is dying and in love, now there's a girl with real problems.'

I don't know what to say so I just leave, closing the door behind me. I'm sure she'll come around in her own sweet time.

Well, looks like my hopes of getting everyone together have been dashed, but I'm sure we can still have a nice time without Katherine. I'll just find Damon and then we can get going.

He's not in his room, so I go back into the common area hoping he went there and the guys have already clued him in on the plan.

I open the door and find Matt and Tyler playing FIFA on the Xbox and studiously ignoring the fact that Stefan and Damon are having a blazing row in the kitchen.

'...well nobody asked you to live here. I put up with you being here but it doesn't mean I have to like it.'

'Look, Stefan, I've had just about enough of your teenage drama queen bit. Grow up a little will you? You're not even trying. I mean for god sake, going to Matt's house for Christmas that was a low blow, even from you.'

'Christmas is a time for families, Damon, and since you decided that we're not related I'm not obliged to spend it with you.'

'How many times do I have to apologies for that? I messed up ok? But I'm trying to make it up to you now. Can't you just meet me in the middle little? Cut me some slack. I mean, mum had just died...'

'Yeah, well whose fault was that?'

At that the room goes silent, the tension is palpable, even Matt and Tyler are no longer able to ignore it and have turned off their game. Damon, it seems, has no reply to that last remark. He looks like he's in pain, like Stefan's words have hurt him deeper than any physical blow could. I look at Stefan expecting to see that look of horror that inevitably accompanies the realization that in anger you have gone too far and really devastated a person you love, but I see nothing, his face is cold and impassive.

There is nothing left to say, so Damon does the only thing he can do and leaves the room. He looks like he so desperately needs a friend right now that I turn to go after him, but Stefan grabs my arm and spins me back around.

'Don't Elena. Leave him. He doesn't deserve your kindness.'

'But, Stefan, he needs a friend right now.'

'Look, Elena, I know you think that Damon is your friend, and that's because you are a good person and you always see the best in others, but the truth is, Damon doesn't have friends. He is just using you to get to me or to get into your pants, possibly both.'

'No, that's not true, Damon is good to me and he's good to you. Why are you being so hard on him?'

'His past actions have proven that he's not a person worthy of my time or trust.'

'Look, I don't know what has passed between you guys, but he's your brother and he's clearly trying to make amends, shouldn't you at least give him a chance?'

'No. Some things are unforgivable.'

'I don't understand. What could he possibly have done to cause you to hate him so much?'

'God, you're like a dog with a bone Elena. You want to know. Fine, I'll tell you. He killed our mother. Then after we were left alone in the world, orphans with no family except each other, he abandoned me to live with strangers so he could go and live a life of hedonism, of drink and drugs and easy sex, without the inconvenience of a little brother to look after. And now, after all these years, he pushes his way, uninvited, back into my life and wants to what? Act like nothing's happened? Am I just supposed to forgive and forget all that Elena? Would you?'


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**A/N: Just to say thanks for your kind reviews. I have being dreaming up stories my whole life but once I've played them out in my head I tend to lose the will to write them down. Knowing somebody else is reading is giving me the motivation I need.**

It's been a good few days since I've seen either of the Salvatore brothers. I've been avoiding Stefan and I get the distinct impression that Damon has been avoiding me. I don't really know how to react to what Stefan told me. It all seems so farfetched, a story that wouldn't be out of place on a soap opera. I feel like I've been somehow caught in the middle of their family drama, like I'm involved now whether I like it or not. That being the case, the first thing I need to do is talk to Damon. If they're asking me to pick a team I'd like to hear both sides of the story. But I guess whatever is going on is just too much for Damon right now because he hasn't been home for days. I've been as patient as I can be, but I have to find out if he's alright. He's my friend first and foremost and my boyfriend's brother second. I'm really worried about him. So I've reached a place of last resorts. Although the last thing I want to do is involve more people in something that is quiet obviously private, I have no other choice. Still, I feel very unsure as I approach Katherine's door, I don't know what Damon has told her or how intimate their relationship has become, and besides it seems like Katherine is busy dealing with her own shit at the moment.

'Kat, it's Elena, I'm coming in.'

A different type of chaos from the last time is there to greet me as I open her bedroom door. All the windows have been thrown open, flooding the room with pale winter sunshine and making it smell fresh and cold. Despite the chill, Katherine is sitting cross legged on top of a mountain of what I can only assume is every piece of clothing, bedding and soft furnishings that she owns, wearing a thin cotton summer dress and for some reason 3 long knitted scarves, wound round her neck so many times that I'm afraid she's being strangled.

'Hey Elena, quickly, shut the door.'

'Huh? OK, why?'

'There's no time to explain. Quickly, get up here with me. I've cast a protective circle around me. It will keep us safe.'

'Okaaay. Uhm, are you feeling alright? A little early in the day to be hitting the bottle don't you think?'

'No, I'm not drunk, I'm just a little tired. I've been up all night searching for my twin.'

'You have a twin?'

'Of course, everybody does.'

'Right. Are you sure you're ok?'

'Don't worry; I've got a handle on it. I shouldn't be talking about this with you anyway.'

'Well, I just stopped by to ask if you'd seen Damon lately?'

'Damon? No, no. He must have been taken. But he's strong, I'm sure he can look after himself.'

'Taken?'

'Look, Elena, I don't mean to be rude but I have a lot of preparation to do and very little time to do it in, so could you...well...leave...and I'll see you later, alright?'

'Sure.'

I wander back to the door in a confused daze.

'I'll come by tomorrow and see if you're feeling any better, okay?'

She doesn't answer or even seem to hear me. Her eyes have a faraway look and she is gazing off to an undetermined point in the distance behind me, so I shut the door and leave her to it. There is something very worrying going on with her but I can't understand what. The shit seems to be hitting the fan in all four corners of our flat.

I guess fortune finally decided to smile upon me because as I exit Katherine's room I see Damon quietly slipping into his.

Ah ha! He can't escape me now!

'Damon?'

I bang on his door but get no response.

'Look, I know you're in there and I'm coming in whether you like it or not.'

I open the door with determination to reveal Damon sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands.

'Look, Elena, I've had a rough week and the last thing I want is you giving me a lecture, so can we just skip it?'

'I don't want to give you a lecture. I just wanted to see if you're okay, which obviously you're not.'

'Well, you've done you're Good Samaritan bit and now you're free to go. Thanks for stopping by.'

'I was kinda hoping we could talk...'

'Do you really think that's such a good idea after what went down? Stefan wouldn't like it if he knew you were fraternizing with the enemy. Look, I don't want to mess up your relationship and I don't want to make things worse between me and Stefan.'

'You're not the enemy and it's not for Stefan to say who I can and can't be friends with. But maybe you're right. It would be easier not to rock the boat. I tell you what, why don't we go for a walk in The Meadows?'

'Alright, I could use some fresh air anyway. How about I meet you in Bristo Square in ten minutes?'

Sitting on the steps outside Usher Hall I'm glad I remembered to bring my hat and gloves, because despite the sun there is a definite nip in the air. Lost in my own thoughts I stare blindly as teenage skateboarders make multiple failed attempts to impress their friends and busy students hurry across the square in the direction of the library.

'Hey, you ready?'

'Damon. Good. I was beginning to think you'd bailed on me.'

We walk along in silence past the coffee cart at the top of the hill and down past the 24 hour computer lab, Sainsbury's and the delicious but expensive looking Scandinavian cafe. At the bottom of the hill we come to a crossroads at the edge of The Meadows where on the ground someone has painted a giant compass. By mutual accord we head North East along the tree lined path that cuts through the centre of The Meadows. The branches of the trees form an arch above out heads, automatically giving our walk the atmosphere of a clandestine tryst. I don't know what the real name of this path is but in my head I always call it Lover's Lane.

'I suppose you talked to Stefan? He told you everything?'

'No. He told me some things. He made some serious accusations against you. He was very angry and I was shocked by the things he said so we didn't go into much detail. Since that night I haven't spoken to him. You guys clearly have some issues and I wanted to talk to you and hear your side of things before I talked to him again.'

'That's very generous of you but I'm sure whatever Stefan has told you is the truth. I've done some horrible things, things which I am deeply ashamed of.'

I am stunned by that, I don't know what to say. All week I have been telling myself that if I could just talk to Damon I'm sure he would be able to explain and now he's telling me that the worst is true. Could he really have committed matricide? I stop, turn to face him and look him hard and straight in the eyes. I see on his face an emotion which I can't name but recognise instantly because I have felt it myself.

'Look, Damon. If you're not ready to talk about it now or you don't want to talk about it with me, that's fine, but just know that I don't believe you.'

'You don't believe me? Listen Elena, not everything is all peaches and cream all the time. Not everybody is capable of being kind and good like you. There are some truly evil people in the world and it just so happens that I'm one of them. So grow up and open your eyes.'

'No Damon, I think it's you who needs to grow up. I don't know exactly what happened but I do know you. I can read you like an open book and right now I think you're too busy torturing yourself and feeling guilty to have any perspective.'

'So what if I'm feeling guilty. I have very good reason to, or did you forget that part?'

'I'm sure you do have plenty of things to feel guilty about and that's fine. I know a little something about guilt myself. For months after my parents accident I tormented myself thinking there was something I could have done to save them. I should have begged them to stay at home instead of going to the concert, we all knew the roads were icy, but I was too busy obsessing over some boy whose name I don't even remember anymore. When something horrible happens it's only natural to try to assign blame to someone, either ourselves or others. It's easier to hate than to grieve, to feel guilt than sorrow. But to truly move on you have to let go of the guilt and the anger and embrace the pain. Only through acceptance can you begin to put your life back together.'

'Well, that's what I've been trying to do, put my life back together, but Stefan won't let me in. I can't move on without him, we are all each other have.'

'I think you're trying to do too many things at once. How can you expect Stefan to forgive you if you haven't forgiven yourself?'


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

'Elena! Wake up! Wake up!'

'I'm up. Get off me, geez, what's your damage Damon? Why the hell are you in my room at one o'clock in the morning shaking me like a vending machine that won't pay out?'

'Have you seen Katherine? Do you know where she is?'

'No, I haven't seen her for a few days, since the day we went walking in The Meadows. Why are you asking me anyway, she's your girlfriend, if anyone should know where she is, it's you.'

'What? No, Katherine's not my girlfriend, we're just friends; it's never been like that with us.'

'Oh...but I thought...but you said...I can neither confirm nor deny...'

'I only said that to tease you, Elena. Anyway, it hardly matters, what matters right now is finding her.'

'Why? Where's the fire?'

'I'm really worried she might be in some kind of trouble. She left me a really manic voicemail message and she's been acting kinda kooky for days. After her downer I should have expected this, I know the signs, I should have been paying more attention, but I was just so distracted by all that drama with my brother. But that's no excuse, I promised myself from day one that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I won't let history repeat itself.'

'I don't understand. What's wrong with Katherine? Why do you have to look after her? Are you in love with her but she's not interested? Is that what this is about?'

'No. I'm not in love with _her_.'

'Then what...?'

'Katherine is bi-polar. I found out the first day we moved in here because her pills fell out of her handbag and I recognised them. I've been keeping an eye on her, helping her keep on the straight and narrow, so to speak. But I've been preoccupied lately and I think she's gone off her meds.'

'Well, this explains a lot. She has been acting weirdly recently. Real moody, all depressed one minute and hyper the next. The other day she was talking all kinds of crazy.'

'That's what I was afraid of. Without her meds her brain can't regulate her moods so she swings from extreme highs to extreme lows. At this point her brain has obviously become so unbalanced that she is starting to suffer from delusions. That's very bad news. We have to find her and we have to find her fast or who knows what she might convince herself she has to do.'

Damon is pacing up and down at the foot of my bed and raking his hands through his hair in frustration.

'Right. How can I help? Where can we look?'

'I've been everywhere I can think of. The library, the computer lab, all her favourite pubs and clubs. Nothing. You were my last hope.'

'Well, don't worry. Let me think...Have you tried her friends in Leith?'

'I didn't know she had friends in Leith.'

'I went to a party there with her once. I think I can remember where it is. Go and call a taxi while I get dressed, we will go right away.'

Twenty minutes later Damon is hammering on the door of the flat on Leith Street with wild abandon. We can hear and feel the vibrations from the dirty base line of a loud dub step track coming through the door. There is obviously a party going on inside, but it takes ten minutes of frustrated banging and yelling before we finally get someone to open the door. Damon barges his way inside and moves frantically through the flat. We locate Katherine in the back bedroom. She's lying on her front on the floor engrossed in the task at hand as some lanky haired boy kneels beside her and observes while absentmindedly patting her bottom. The task at hand, it seems, is using a gold Visa card to cut a pile of powdery white cocaine into exactly symmetrical lines on the surface of a cracked full length mirror.

'Hey, Katherine.'

I expected Damon to shout and try to pull her bodily away, but he only sits down beside her, speaking in a calm, gentle voice.

'You know its kinda late, and Elena and I are heading home, why don't you leave this, err, job in the capable hand of this young gentleman and come away with us?'

'Damon? Have you been here all this time? Well that makes sense. I'm glad you managed to escape. I knew you would. I need to take this before I come home. It will protect me.'

'No, Katherine, this won't help you, it will only make things worse.'

'But they said...You mean it's a trick?'

'Right, they are trying to trick you. But we're your real friends and we have come to help before it's too late. So come with us, we will keep you safe.'

Katherine stands up suddenly, her eyes are wild and unfocused, darting all around the room, and for a moment I'm afraid she's going to bolt. But in the end she follows Damon, meek as a lamb, and we get her back to our flat.

I help her into some of my pyjamas, all of her clothes are inexplicably wet, and get her into bed. When Damon comes back in to check on her she is sitting up in bed rambling incoherently, her train of thought impossible to follow.

'Come on Kat, lie down and try to get some rest, them tomorrow we will go to the hospital and get some help.'

'Damon?'

Her eyes focus upon him and she stills for a second.

'I'm scared,' she whispers and at that moment she seems so small and vulnerable. I look at Damon in desperation; I would give anything to help her but I don't know how. I feel powerless.

'Wait here with her Elena. Don't let her get up. I'll be back in a minute.'

He re-emerges several minutes later with something grasped tightly in his fist. He sits on the bed beside Katherine and opens his hand to reveal a delicate gold necklace. The pendent, which hangs in the middle of the chain, is a single hand, pointed downwards, made up of a lattice of gold so fine that it almost looks like lace.

'Katherine, I want you to wear this. It's a Hand of Fatima. It's a powerful charm that protects the wearer from all evil. It belonged to my mother and I know she would want you to have it.'

Katherine gives Damon a grateful smile and brushes her hair to one side as he helps her fasten the charm around her neck. Finally, she lies down and lets out a contented sigh as Damon tucks her in, brushes a soft kiss to her temple and turns off the light.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I've been snappy and fractious with Stefan all week. I've been doing my duty, looking after him and helping him out, what with his broken leg and all but my mind is elsewhere. It's been over a week since Damon took Katherine to the hospital and I haven't heard a word from either of them. They haven't been back to the flat and they haven't called. I'm not exactly worried, as I know Katherine is in good hands with Damon, but I still wish I knew how they're both fairing.

As if wishes were granted Damon returns to the flat that same day. I'm walking down the corridor and I see the door to Katherine's room is open. Further investigation reveals Damon inside hastily stuffing her things into boxes.

'You'll never fit it all in if you keep going at it like that. Here, let me help.'

'Thanks.' He smiles gratefully at me. He looks tired and careworn as he slumps down on the bed and lets me take over the packing.

'So, how's Katherine doing?'

'Better. They admitted her in to Edinburgh Psychiatric Hospital and she's back on her meds. She still has a lot of things to work through though, so the doctors want to keep her there until they are satisfied that she is not a danger to herself or others. She is getting the help she needs, but it's going to be a long, uphill battle.'

'Well, it's a good thing she has her very own knight in shining armor to help her through it.'

'Hardly, but I'm doing the best I can. I'm determined not to repeat the same mistakes.'

'What do you mean? Did you know Katherine before we moved in here?'

'No, Katherine and I just met this year. This all stems back to my mother. Stop that a second and sit down Elena, I think it's time you heard the whole story, it's only fair, seeing as my brother and I have dragged you into the middle of our drama.'

I drop one of Katherine's angora sweaters into a box and move to perch awkwardly on the edge of the desk facing Damon. I try to keep my face neutral, to encourage honestly without fear of judgment, but I am afraid I just look like a silly little girl eager for the latest tidbit of gossip. Regardless, he continues:

'Shortly after Stefan was born our father left so for most of my childhood we lived, just the three of us, my mother, Stefan and I. Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, large swathes of our childhood was very normal, very happy. But our mother was bi-polar, like Katherine, and every so often she would stop taking her meds. She said they made her feel foggy, they dampened her creativity and made it impossible for her to think. When she was off her meds our lives were thrown into chaos, she would spend weeks lying in bed refusing to move, refusing to eat. I tried to look after her and Stefan but it was hard, I was only a kid myself. Then she would become manic and she would go off doing god only knows what. She often became quiet delusional and we wouldn't see her for days. Then she would come back, and it was always the same. She would call a family meeting and explain that this place had gone bad for us, that the energy was all wrong, and then yank us out of school and move us across the country to some place new. She would assure us that we were starting over, that this place would be different, she could feel it and we would believe her, because she was our mother. She would start taking her meds again and things would be better for a time. That's why Stefan and I have never lived in any one place for more than a couple of years.

The last time was different though. She went down but she never came up again. She got more and more depressed. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't shower, wouldn't move. I didn't know what to do, I was just waiting for her mood to flip as usual, but it never did. Then, one day, when we came home from school, she was gone. This in itself wasn't unusual, she'd often go off for a few days at a time, but never during her down periods. But still, I wasn't too worried, I thought she'd be back soon. I was more selfishly preoccupied with my own drama, you see I had my first girlfriend and I was more interested in wallowing in self-pity about how I would soon have to leave her when we inevitably moved on.

But a week past and then another and no sign of her.

They found her body in a sleazy motel in the 16th banlieue outside of Paris, but it took them a while to trace her back to us. Not a day goes by when I don't think to myself how I could have done things differently. I should have known, I should have seen the signs, I should have been paying better attention, I should have done something. I could have saved her. I know that, and Stefan knows that too. So in a way he's right when he says that I killed our mother.'

'Damon, no, how can you think that about yourself...'

'Elena, please, let me finish, there's more, it gets worse.

After that Stefan was taken into care. I was 18 and they asked me if I wanted to become his guardian, to look after him and keep what was left of our family together. But I said no. I left him with strangers because I couldn't handle the responsibility and I couldn't risk my negligence harming the only family I have left.

After that I spent a year trying to blot out my existence in the worst ways: drink, drugs, sex, you name it, I tried it. I couldn't stand to be sober because I couldn't stand myself and the person I'd become.

Then one day on a drunken whim I swung by the care home where Stefan was living. I didn't speak to him but I saw him playing football with some other kids in the yard. For the first time in my life I looked at him and saw what I should have always seen, a carefree, happy kid. Not a worried little boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Right then and there I decided I wanted him to hold on to that for as long as possible, to make up for the parts of his childhood that he was robbed of.

So, I pulled myself together, worked 3 job and put myself through night school. Now I have a job as a software engineer, that's why I work at night, because it's online, so I can do it whenever I like; I'm not a morning person. That means I can pay for Stefan to go to university and he doesn't have to work, he just studies and plays football, and he has a few more years of being responsibility-free to enjoy.

When I moved in here this year I was hoping to repair my relationship with him, but now I see that you were right. I don't forgive myself for what happened. Putting Stefan through uni is helping me to make amends for abandoning him but how can I make up for what happened to our mother? I can't bring her back.

Looking after Katherine is a kind of therapy for me, my way of righting the karmic balance or whatever. It's a work in progress. So, I'm going to take your advice and work on that and give Stefan time and space. Hopefully there is still a chance we can be in each others lives again in the future.'

My brain is in information overload so I can do nothing but sit in silence at the end of Damon's monologue as I frantically try to gather my thoughts.

'Anyway, I found a couple of Sweedish exchange students to sub-let our rooms. I'm moving to Morningside to be closer to the hospital and look after Katherine.'

The silence stretches on as I open and close my mouth like some kind of slack-jawed fish, floundering in my inability to form a coherent sentence. Damon holds up his hand, as if to stop my feeble attempt.

'You don't have to say anything Elena, I know that was a lot to take in and there is really nothing you _can _say. I'm leaving tomorrow in the morning and I know this is the right decision. But, Elena, can I ask you something before I go?'

Suddenly he's standing right in front of me, lips a hair's breath from mine, his deep blue eyes boring a hole through me, seemingly looking, searchingly, at the very core of my being.

Time stands still and the moment stretch infinitesimally.

'Anything.' I breath. I have never anticipated a question from anybody with such combined excitement and trepidation.

It feels as if the weight of my world rests upon this single inquiry.

'Look after my brother, will you?'


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I have to get out of this flat, right now, this very minute, or my head is going to spin off and explode. Unfortunately, my treacherous body won't co-operate with me. I'm all fingers and thumbs and it takes me a good five minutes to do up my laces.

I jam my red beanie hat down over my rapidly reddening ears as the wind blows the front door shut behind me with a vicious bang. I wonder if _he _heard that and is thinking he has driven me into door slamming territory. The fact is, while I might not have been the force behind the action there is a certain amount of pathetic fallacy going on at the moment.

My eyes are full and watery, must be the wind, after all, what do I have to cry about?

I battle aimlessly on, leaning into the gale as I force my way down South Clerk Street. From all angels I am being attacked by leaves mixed with the debris of last nights party, picked up by the storm to form a swirling vortex of polystyrene take-away containers, rotting foliage and battered fliers promising a free drink to anyone brave enough not to ask what's in it.

My emotions are over-whelming me. I'm too scared to lift the lid and examine them. I'm afraid if I open that box I won't be able to shut it again. I'm afraid if I look into my feelings, my actions, the true nature of my soul, I won't like what I find. But most of all, I am afraid that if I admit to myself what I'm feeling at this moment I will irrevocably break the wall surrounding my heart that keeps it safe. That wall which I painstakingly built, brick by brick, over time, after every little knock, every embarrassing slight, every instance of pain. The wall which turned into an impenetrable fortress of self-protection after the death of my parents.

Impenetrable? Or so I thought...until him.

But, no, there is still a chance, the wall has not yet been breached.

So, I cling to a familiar, safe emotion and let it wash over me like a balming tonic: anger.

I stomp through the door of the first pub I come to. Inside it's dim and musty smelling, hardly a happening place, a real old man's pub. But it's warm, out of the wind and most importantly, it serves alcohol.

I order a dram of whiskey and down it in one gulp. The old man sitting next to me at the bar mutters something about the youth of today not knowing how to appreciate a fine single malt, but I ignore him. I've no time for savouring the flavour or social niceties today.

I repeat the process another three times before exiting as abruptly as I arrived.

The potent combination of whiskey and anger has warmed my blood so I hardly notice the weather as I march purposely back towards the flat.

With a little time for reflection and more than a little dutch courage in my belly I am suddenly determined to have it out with him.

He's not going to get away this easily.

'Damon!' I holler as I bound up the stairs.

'We need to talk, so get your arse in here!'

'Wow, take a chill pill, Elena, I'm here! Where's the fire?'

My god! I could swear he's baiting me on purpose, his calm sarcastic drawl coupled with his conveniently topless torso only serves to stoke the raging inferno burning within me.

'You know exactly where the fire is, and now you're standing there with your ridiculously perfect body on show, just mocking me. You think this is funny? If this is all just one big joke to you then I won't waste my breath!'

'Whoa! Hold on just a minute now. I have no idea what you're talking about, Elena, but my lack of shirt stems back to my recent dabble with this new, novel concept that the kids are going crazy for these days. It's called showering, you should try it some time, I think you'd like it!'

He is infuriating.

No doubt he's referring in a thinly veiled dig, to the time he saw me naked in the shower.

Oh god, he's probably picturing my butt in his mind at this very moment.

Before I know what I'm doing I find myself closing the distance between us until we are standing almost nose to nose. I glare up at him, teeth clenched as I attempt to keep my cool long enough to form a coherent sentence.

'You know what you are? You, Damon Salvatore, are a fucking coward. Well, you know what? This is the 21st century and I'm no damsel in distress, if you're too scared to take the leap then I guess I'll have to do it for us.'

I pull in a deep gasp of air as I realize that despite the extent of my fury and the length of the rant I am building myself up for, I still need to breath.

'Were you really just going to leave tomorrow without saying anything?'

A single shudder passes through Damon's body and he breaks away from my heated gaze. He walks over to the sofa and lies down legs stretching along the length of it, facing away from me.

I'm astonished by his action or lack there of.

Is that it? Why won't he answer me? Has he nothing to say?

And, suddenly it hits me. This is his way of showing me kindness. He doesn't want to hurt or embarrass me any further than I already have been so he is ending this conversation before it really begins. This is his way of telling me that I'm barking up the wrong tree, that I've imagined the whole thing. Where I saw heat there was only friendship. Where I saw love there was simply compassion. The truth is he's not into me at all.

I walk slowly down the corridor to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. Wrapped in a blanket, I draw the drapes behind me and enclose myself in my safe haven, my nook.

An indescribable feeling of lose washes over me, which doesn't make any sense because I had nothing to loose to begin with.

All the wrath has been sucked out of me and in its place I find only melancholy.

Well, Damon's plan to spare me any pain has dramatically back fired. Our almost conversation has only served to reveal to me my true emotions. The lid of that box has been ripped right off whether I like it or not. There's no going back now.

In the mist of my reveries I feel a sharp point jabbing my left buttock. Further investigation reveals, hidden under a cushion, my dogeared copy of _Pride and Prejudice. _My wicked brain immediately draws a parallel between my current predicament and the almost missed relationship between Jane Bennet and Mr. Bingley. She thought she had made her feelings very clear but it turns out the lesson to be learned here is that anything short of a blunt admission of love and the male sex are apt to miss it entirely. In fact, it's a gender stereotype that men don't do well with subtle, or even fairly obvious hints.

I don't consider myself a religious person, I'm not superstitious, nor do I believe in fate, but this seemed to me to be a sign too clear to ignore.

I have to know. Even if it hurts more than I can imagine at this moment.

So with quiet trepidation I creep slowly back to the living room and slid in through the door making only minimal noise.

Damon is lying on the sofa exactly as I left him. He doesn't move. I don't think he heard me come in. I walk round to the front of the sofa and slowly and deliberately sit down next to him. I touch his arm lightly and peer down at his face. He turns to meet my gaze with only the barest hint of surprise. Our eyes lock and I think I see traces of sadness and pain radiating up at me, but perhaps it is simply the reflection of my own feelings bouncing back to me.

The moment stretches on as if both of us are afraid of some untold consequence that may come by breaking it.

I draw in a short breath as I prepare to speak, to ask, to cross that line...but Damon beats me to the punch, whispering the single word that has the power to alter our course:

'Don't.'


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**A/N: This is the final chapter. Can't believe I actually finished something. Thanks to everybody who has stuck with me until the end.**

For the first time in over a month I feel some lightness of spirit about me. The moment my plane landed in Barcelona I felt as if a weight had been lifted from me, the tension in my body suddenly relaxed. I felt free.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to visit this beautiful city. I'd always imagined that I would come with a group of friends and we'd spend balmy Spanish evenings exploring the local nightlife together. I never thought I would have the courage to travel alone, without the security of companionship to accompany me through a foreign land. But somehow this feels right. It is truly what I needed. Time alone to reflect and sort out my messy emotions.

I haven't seen Damon since that night, which now seems so surreal that I can hardly believe I didn't dream it. So many things were only half-said, or left completely unsaid, that I really don't know what conclusions I can draw from it. I spent many weeks alone in my room agonizing about it. Replaying every word, every look, every gesture over and over in my mind. I almost drove myself insane. The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Eventually I narrowed it down to the few logical assumptions I can safely trust.

I don't know how Damon feels about me because he never deigned to tell me. I can't be sure what he meant when he said 'Don't' but I do know that he hasn't uttered another word to me since so I have to assume that he doesn't want to talk about it. However, I do know how _I_ feel. That night certainly forced me to own up to that. In retrospect, hindsight being 20/20 and all that, it had been slowly building since we met. The spark between us was almost instant, at least for me it was. So much so that I may have to revise my stance on love at first sight, it may after all exist, that is provided your not to blind to see it. From that night on I was compelled to admit, if only to myself, that I, Elena Gilbert, am head-over-heels, butt shaggingly, crazily in love with Damon Salvatore.

Once I'd realized this I knew I had to break it off with Stefan. He took it on the chin and didn't seem too surprised. I suppose the fact that we hadn't spoken in almost 3 weeks by this point might have clued him into the way things were headed. Despite Stefan's nonchalance over the demise of our relationship I can't help but feel hugely guilty about it. Nothing happened between Damon and I and I ended it with Stefan as soon as I knew I was in love with someone else, but I still believe that I have been cheating in my heart for some time now.

That doesn't sit very well with me. I hate liars and cheats and I am always the first to condemn anyone who crosses these lines. Yet here I am, hypocrite of the year, and worse not only have I cheated and lied to everyone including myself, the object of my unrequited affections in none other than my boyfriend's brother! How sick is that?

I spent the rest of the spring term in a quiet haze of guilt and remorse. Things have been very strained in the flat. I have become quiet isolated. Not that the boys aren't perfectly cordial with me, but they're Stefan's friends not mine. It is a relief to know that Bonnie will be back next term and we can find a little place just for the two of us.

That's why I decided to bite the bullet and come to Barcelona on my own. I needed to get away from it all, and strolling in the sunshine down La Rambla, I am starting to believe that this was one of my better ideas.

I've been wandering around almost all day, taking in the sights and smells of this vibrant city. There is just one more stop on my itinerary for the day, and I have been saving it for last because I'm so excited, I've dreamt of seeing this church in the flesh for so many years. I round the corner and there it is, in all it's glory: La Sagrada Familia.

A church so vastly different from any other that it's uniqueness takes my breath away. The inside is even more spectacular than the outside. It is like standing in a vast forest made of stone, the pillars of the church branching off in every direction to form a canopy over my head through which multicoloured shafts of light penetrate through stained glass windows. It makes me think of the day Damon and I walked through the Meadows together, down Lover's Lane. But such thoughts are fleeting and I let a sense of awe wash over me as I stare transfixed at the ceiling above and soak in its beauty.

When I finally manage to tear my attention away from the heavens I could swear I see Damon standing not 3 meters in front of me. It must be a mirage, my eyes have gone funny from looking up too long. I start to turn, to walk away, and then he speaks:

'Elena, wait! Look, I know what you must be thinking, but Stefan said you had gone abroad and I knew you must have come to Barcelona and I knew you would visit this church eventually. I've been waiting all day, so just hear me out, please.'

'Damon? What...?'

He takes a few paces towards me.

'Just listen. I went round to see Stefan the other day and I walked in on him snogging some blond chick. So, I kinda...well I...sort of...punched him.'

'You what!'

I take a few more steps so we are now standing only an arms length apart.

'Well, I couldn't believe he would do that to you. But then he told me you guys broke up ages ago. He said he thought you fancied some other bloke, but that he didn't mind because things were never that serious between you two anyway. So you see, I had to come. Now I know that giving into my feelings about you won't harm my relationship with my brother, which as you know is still on rather shaky grounds... I had to find you... I need to tell you... look you don't have some new man already, do you? Because I need you to understand...I just don't know how to explain...'

I close the remaining distance between us and hold my finger up to his lips to quiet his rambling tirade and murmur:

'Then don't.'

He looks at me and I see a spark in his eye, the return of that old, impish Damon I know and love, before he opens his mouth and nibbles playfully on the tip of my out-held finger.

I don't know who makes the first move after that, but all at once his hands are holding firmly onto my hips, my arms are encircling his neck and then his lips are on mine and my lips are on his and we are kissing like two people who have waited a lifetime for this moment.

**The End**


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